Author Rakhi Kapoor’s twenty fifth book “ Now You Breathe” over coming toxic relationships and abuse has won several awards; the most prestigious of them being the International Golden Book Awards 2023 in the category “Powerful Relationship Guide.”
Love and abuse cannot go together. Now You Breathe addresses the issue of abusive and toxic relationships in close quarters at home or work spaces. There is no bar on age or gender when it comes to getting entangled in to a toxic relationship .Anyone can be a victim of abuse at home, institutions and work place. In such scenarios the victims are constantly targeted with name calling, usage of frequent abusive and derogatory language, being told that he or she is good for nothing, constantly blamed for things going wrong for no fault of theirs. These are forms of emotional and mental abuse along with physical abuse which are inflicted on the victims in toxic relationships.
It is heart breaking to see children, students, women who are economically vulnerable or dependent on others unable to fight back or protect themselves from constant mental and physical abuse in such relationships.
When abusive situations arise at home or in closed spaces it can be constant and discreet. Hence the victim is unable to get help. People around are unaware of the situation, it may be unbelievable that relationships where parents, elders and loved ones who are meant to be a source of love and joy can behave this way. Most of the times it is because of shame and societal pressure most victims suffer quietly and don’t voice their suffering.
In any healthy relationship, be it with, family, friends, lovers or colleagues one should have the ability to communicate and express themselves, maintain healthy boundaries and have clear terms of engagement as to what kind of behaviour is acceptable. Everyone’s needs matter and should be respected in a healthy relationship.
Author Rakhi Kapoor’s book explains the dynamics of relationships and personality development of an individual with an extensive research oriented approach, validated with information and her own personal experience. Hurt people hurt people further. Deteriorating mental health conditions due to unresolved factors like trauma, prior abuse especially in the childhood, extreme stress, grief, suffering due to impoverishment and financial struggles and genetic factors can hinder an individual’s normal personality development. Such situations may lead to individuals having personality disorders to name a few like Narcissistic Personality Disorder , Border Line Personality Disorders, Sociopathy , Psychopathy etc.
Disorders in an individual’s personality hinders their ability to cope with the relationships and responsibilities in their personal and professional space. Such individuals are unable to live a normal and peaceful life, have stable relationships and hold on to their jobs or achieve their goals. They become dysfunctional adults unable to resolve interpersonal issues in relationships at home or work places in a healthy manner by understanding, reflecting and discussing amicable options to resolve a conflict. Instead they lash out at people who can become easy scapegoats to their frustrations and pain like children, spouses, subordinates etc. Basically any one person in their life who is weak, soft spoken, naïve and empathetic and also dependent on them financially or emotionally. People who are victimised in such toxic relationships are traumatised which leads to a set of disorders clubbed under PTSD ( Post traumatic stress disorders) . It can be anything from depression, anxiety, panic attacks, personality disorders to suicidal tendencies. The list is vast and endless.
Now You Breathe gives the readers an understanding of this vicious cycle and methods of coping, dealing, protecting and healing from such relationships according to an individual’s extent of helplessness and dependency on the relationship. Psychotherapy therapy and psychiatric interventions is extremely essential in such scenarios. Author Rakhi Kapoor urges families, institutions, organisations, mental health professionals and the common people to work together to deal with this menace.
Till such significant measures are taken individuals continue to suffer. This book provides guidance on how to amicably and practically deal with such dysfunctional people and scenarios without further worsening the dynamics at work places or home affecting the general population in the society.
Understanding and educating oneself about manipulative techniques and functioning of a dysfunctional mind helps a victim maintain limited contact, stay physically distant and create an emotional and mental shield in such relationships which is their first line of defence. On the long run individuals who are stuck in such relationships should become financially and emotionally independent and not seek any validation from others outside of them.
The world is still grappling with the after math of the covid 19 disease. Globally people of all age, gender and walks of life have experienced isolation, death, economic & health crisis, uncertainty, fear and extreme stress. It has definitely affected the morale and mental health of individuals. The taboo on mental health issues and inhibition to get help has to be removed. “When people seek medications and help for physical ailments without any hesitation then why should there be a stigma about seeking help for mental health conditions?” says author Rakhi Kapoor. Rakhi Kapoor is also a renowned Physiotherapist & relationship coach who has pioneered the concept of prenatal counselling for expecting couples with over two decades of experience. Her books provide a practical and simple approach to subjects like personal transformation, self-help, mental health and women’s wellness . For better understanding of healthy relationships, individuals of most walks of life, age and gender should read this book. It is available on amazon, flip kart, apple books, ingram and other major forums globally.
